Small Update 3

Hello, everyone!

I currently have 3 different book reviews I want to get up, but I’m struggling to find the time. I’ve had personal life stuff going on and not been sleeping well, so in an effort to practice self-care, I’m going to settle for this update today.

Not much is different on the social media front. I’ve reached almost 650 followers on Twitter, but need to get back to maintaining it a bit better. I had to unlink facebook from my twitter because it was going to the wrong FB page and posting every single tweet, retweet, and reply. This blog is going well, but I need to stay consistent.

I received feedback from my pro-beta, but only two out of seven regular betas gave me feedback. A couple of them had family issues, which I completely understand, but I haven’t heard from the rest of them at all. I knew there were those possibilities from the start, but it was somewhat disappointing to me that so many of them didn’t message me to let me know they wouldn’t be able to do it anymore. Dropping out is one thing, but doing it without notice after volunteering is another. Oh well! I’m not angry, just disappointed, so I’ll let it go and simply pick different people next time and hope for the best!

Shortly after reading my feedback, I made the smaller edits to my MS. Then, when I went to start the bigger issues, I began to have really bad anxiety. For whatever reason, I can’t seem to shake this anxiety cloud, and it’s making it hard to focus. I’m afraid of these necessary changes. What if I make my MS worse, rather than better? What if I can’t fill in these pieces in a way that feels natural?

My whole story was written linearly, from beginning to end, and therefore has the same voice pretty much throughout. Now, though, I have to go in and add things. When I’m anxious, it’s hard to see the bigger picture of my story, and I get worried about making big plot holes or contradicting myself. It feels like I’ve got tunnel vision and can only see one small chunk at a time, forgetting each as I move onto the next. I know it’s going to be ok, one way or another, but it’s giving me way more of a mental block than I ever had while writing.

I decided to separate Godless into individual chapters, to make the work feel more manageable, so we’ll see how that works out.

I’ve got family in town and errands to catch up on, so I’m going to have to make time to work on editing and blog posts. Hopefully, this anxiety monster will go back into hiding and let me do what I need to.

Anywho, I wish you all luck with whatever you’re working on and good mental health!

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